CHALLENGE CAMP! (Bingle Camp Week 1)

I am home! It feels like a different place returning to Fairbanks after being away for just two weeks. The first week was staff training, the second was our first camp of the summer. Challenge camp.

Challenge camp was surprisingly not as challenging as you may expect, and certainly not as challenging as I expected. I had four amazing Jr. High boys in my cabin and it was an amazing week for all of them I believe. They each left saying that they felt closer to God than they have ever felt before and they were all excited to ask their moms if they could go to church next Sunday when they were picked up. It was amazing, a truly perfect week as far as camp goes. However, I am not ignorant, trials lie ahead for the weeks to come. This week was emotionally stressful for me as well, God has an amazing way of working things out like that. One of my boys came from an abusive situation at home and had a home life similar to mine, God was able to use me and my testimony to reach him in a dramatic way. Even though it was cool to see it all happen, it was still emotionally and spiritually draining as always.

Apart from the awesome week I had with my campers though, I feel disconnected spiritually. I felt this way during all of camp this week and staff training the week before, intense anxiety like I'd never experienced before waiting for my kids to arrive. I do not experience social anxiety, I'm a textbook extrovert. I still feel drained even now, as if my veins have been severed from my heart and I can no longer pump life into my body. Scripture isn't being revealed like it was when I read. I feel no conviction from the Holy Spirit and I feel as if I am too far away from God. My prayer has been that God is allowing me to trust him even more in this storm so that I can come out of it stronger and learn how much more strong he is in my weakness, but it doesn't feel that way. I need to trust he is there with me even when I don't feel him there. I don't know how I can lead next week's kids to Christ when I feel so far away from him myself. I need help desperately. I continue to read and pray and journal every chance I get, but nothing feels effective. Please pray that I can trust that God is sovereign in the midst of this storm and he is still leading me even if I cannot feel him. It is impossible for me to do this (or anything) without him. I spoke with a former pastor of mine today about it and he put me more at peace with the situation. During that time that I got to speak with Pastor Hughes, God showed me something cool and used my own words to minister to me. Rick said he felt like I needed time to set apart not to read or pray or do anything but just rest in his presence. At that moment I remembered something I wrote to my cabin! During the week of camp, I wrote an open letter to my cabin and read it to them one morning. We have quiet times for fifteen minutes each morning and I wanted them to have better direction with what to do with it.

This is what I wrote:

"Remember when I talked about Paul, the guy who wrote a lot of the second half of the bible? He persecuted Christians and then became one himself. He wrote something really cool about praying, he said to pray without ceasing. Meaning to never stop praying. At first this sounds a little silly, how can you pray while you're asleep? How are you supposed to talk to other people and pray at the same time? This confused me for a little while, it took me awhile before I understood fully, prayer is a conversation with your perfect daddy. He wants to hear everything you have to say to him, and he loves it when you come to him just to talk or just to be with him. But what kind of a relationship is it if you're the only one talking? Sometimes we just need time to just be with him, like sitting on his lap, leaning into him and just being there. But God also speaks, and he speaks in different ways to all of us, a lot of times he'll speak through the bible, God's word (the bible) is inexhaustible, meaning there is always something new you can learn from it. Sometimes, like [the camp director] was talking about, he speaks to us in the things we see, often he speaks to us by letting us know he's near. But the thing about God speaking is, he does it all the time, but we must be quiet to hear him. You'll never know how God will choose to speak to you until you quiet yourself inside and out, and just listen. You may be surprised by what he says. So I encourage you to do that this morning during our quiet time, get to a place where you're at peace, say what you need to say when you pray and then listen and just rest in his presence."

Going along on that same vein, we've been under heavy spiritual attack at the camp, which is a sure sign that we're reaching and changing lives. We've been rejoicing in this attack, but still are struggling through it. I personally became sick, as well as several other staff members within the last week. Bitterness and tension were beginning to rise up among the staff. As soon as we became aware of these growing problems Monday afternoon and four of us sat down and prayed, it was so cool because we only prayed for less than five minutes and suddenly I was healed and chasing kids within a few minutes, all bitterness was gone and waves of peace and reassurance covered our fears. The list of miracles goes on and on. We realized that we were trying to do it all ourselves. It was the second that we reprioritized everything to point to God again that everything was taken care of. God is always faithful and these last two weeks have just been a constant reminder of that.

Continue to pray for Bingle and the AWESOME work God is doing through it. Pray for the campers, the staff and for God to show up in a major way. What God has done so far will not even compare to what I'm sure to report back within the next few weeks, I'm so excited to watch God work in more powerful ways every day.

Until next time my friends,

Andrew.

"If you don't do it here, you won't do it there."

Is there something special about Hong Kong that is magically going to turn me into a professional missionary? Will it be the intense, information-dense training? Perhaps the focus being pulled from all of the distractions here, or maybe the abundance of unsaved roaming the streets that will allow me to be used by God for my full potential. Will being in Hong Kong and so close to the suffering of the street dwellers, prostitutes and spiritually apathetic materialism spark my compassion for these people?
I really don't think so.
In fact, being in Hong Kong or with YWAM won't change any of this I suspect. I will still be myself, only in a different place and doing different things. Sure, the teaching will be phenomenal, the environment will be God-focused, the entire experience will be exhilarating, my relationship with God will flourish like never before and my faith will be strengthened. Something about being away from what I've called home for so long will allow me to see the world in a different light.
But the lights will fade, the program will end and I will return home. I am not foolish enough to not understand that this is simply a small season of my life. Whatever my plans may be for my future, they begin in the present.
I've seen this mistake be made by many others in local youth groups and in local congregations by youth and adults alike. Missions are not foreign. Don't misunderstand me, where God calls us is where we go, regardless of anything. Leaving your continent, country, state or city is often important in allowing God to give you a new perspective, for long-term missions and for short-term missions.
Simply put, I believe that a missionary cannot be physically bound by location.
This sounds like such a simple truth, but you must realize that our faith is based off of truths that are simpler and yet are neglected daily. Such is how we are bound.
I came to this revelation nearly a year and a half ago when Pastor Shane Hopkins told me quite clearly:
"If you don't do it here, you won't do it there."
He probably hardly remembers saying it, but it stuck with me. I remember just later that week, with the words still fresh in my mind, visiting Barnes and Noble. I stared at a man for nearly thirty minutes, with my palms sweating and my breathing labored until I finally prayed up the courage to actually talk with him.
He listened to me patiently and replied sparingly as I babbled on nearly incoherently. He thanked me for having the boldness to care for a stranger so deeply and left without saying much. I think I can say that's when I really knew I wanted to be a missionary, it seemed that's what God had wanted for me as well. He continued placing passions in my heart and desires for people to be saved.
I can say with confidence that I've followed God's leading in this way to the best I could have. I believe that I've done what god wanted me to do in this city while I was here, which is the only reason he is allowing me to leave.
And now, with the opportunity to leave, I'm glad I listened. I feel like during the time God has had me here, I have truly sought to live out my calling locally instead of waiting. I feel more blessed and more ready to leave because I'm confident it's on God's timing.
Until next time,
Joel.
Also worth mentioning, I just bought my tickets. I will arrive in Hong Kong, Tuesday, July 29th at 7:35 PM local time.
Alaska Airlines Flight 124 and
Delta Airlines Flight 281.

It's dangerous to go alone...

It may be worth pointing out at this point
that I have never watched an episode
of Macgyver. However, this is how my
version would look.

Those who know me well may scoff at the next sentence. I enjoy being prepared. It may not seem like I do because of how seldom I am prepared, perhaps that's because as much as I enjoy being prepared, I also enjoy being unprepared and just Macgyvering it up when the challenge arises. There's an exhilarating feeling surrounding preparation though that excites me, it's the first step of an epic journey, the opening titles of a movie, the creak of a fresh binding in a new book; no matter their form, new beginnings are exciting.

I've not actually seen the miniseries
in it's entirety.

No one has taught me the ecstasy of new beginnings better than Hollywood, it's nearly a universal fact that the first movie of a saga is the best and if there was a book before the movie, the book was undeniably better. We as an audience love origin stories because they're full of potential and promise of an exciting future, they're flashy and show the process of an idea materializing and becoming reality. Movies are especially effective to portray this exhilaration because all of the hard work in between idea conception and physical execution can be circumvented and squeezed into a three minute sequence donned: "The training montage". This is why I enjoy preparation, in that moment of filling the backpack before the journey, you're in the training montage, your imagination runs wild with the potential use of things. When you pack the rope and the exciting idea of scaling a cliff or dangling from a tree runs through your mind. And then you come to the climax, the second most enjoyable part of a journey; standing on the precipice of the first step with your leg extended toward an audacious goal. When the second step lands though, and the puddle splashes inside your sock, you realize that your expectations do not match reality. The cliff is steep and the tree is tall, your legs are tired and your hands have cramped. It is usually my response to go back inside and unpack while laughing at myself for the absurdity of what just occurred. The cycle of beginnings will restart and I will look for another emotional rush.

This mentality is one of the most socially dangerous themes today. The other day I was listening to a young lady explain her perfect wedding, along with her perfect proposal. I began to worry about this myself, were I to ever marry. I believe I could be the perfect boyfriend: selfless, exciting, thoughtful and caring. It would be entirely too easy for me for me to surprise a young lady and sweep her off her feet in a relationship. Yes,

being a boyfriend would be easy, being a husband would be nearly impossible without divine intervention. When all my flaws and trials are brought to light never to be hidden again and the shame of my own sin is before me and I realize that my spouse has no more blinders but sees me for who I am; a liar, an idolater, prideful, selfish and irresponsible. What will my response be then? This moment of truth comes to all of us in different forms throughout our life and we must choose whether to be faithful to complete the original journey laid out for us, or attempt to begin a new journey just to feel the excitement again. The temptation of adultery is at every corner for a married man. Instead of persevere, perhaps this is why married men and women flirt, trying to serve both their spouse and their selfish emotions. Sounds like Matthew 6:24 to me.

I do the same thing with my relationship with God, flirting with sin. The idea of Jesus is fun for the first twenty minutes when the story seems epic and that I am part of something bigger than myself, but when the temptations set in, when the journey truly gets rough, sin knocks at my door and I all too often answer.

This is the part of the post where I tell you the secret to life-long commitment that your brain wants but your flesh never cooperates to allow you to have. The truth is I don't know. I can't conquer any of the sin in my life, no matter how hard I try, as I look back, the sins that I've actually been able to rid from my life came without large amounts of effort. In fact, they took nearly no effort at all from me physically. It was a one step process for each advance in my faith that I've ever experienced.

I was told I looked like Elijah Wood about four days ago,
so this seemed appropriate.

Seriously, that's as far as I got. I gave up and realized that I could not persevere any longer. I hit rock-bottom and gave up all my trying, gave up all of my efforts and learned to trust in Jesus, learned that he would carry me through. This seems like it would be an obvious and essential truth to Christianity as a whole. A revelation that I would turn back to time and time again throughout my faith walk, this isn't true though; it doesn't matter how many times I must go through this process, I must learn it all over again. It seems futile and discouraging to have to relearn this painful lesson, it's a slow process and every time I look back at it, I feel as though I've wasted so much time learning what I already knew. Perhaps that is God's will though, that I would continue to relearn what I need to so that God can continue to keep my pliable to mold me into his original vision of creation.

It's difficult to say it, but I need to be carried. I need to not journey alone.

Isn't this the lure of Satan always? That we should make the journey alone, being self-righteous, to have our own rags-to-riches story. So that at the end of the day, we can say we did it all by ourselves. If we've done it all by ourselves though, what did we really earn? All eternal riches exist only in the kingdom of God. If I can remove sin all by myself, then I didn't really ever do it, now did I?

Food for thought.

Until next time my friends,

Joel Gibson.

All allusions of alliteration aren't actually implicitly subtle?

Ooh! Look this blog contains poorly drawn
illustrations of the author as a floating head!
What more could you want?!

Perhaps it's not wise to post on a several year old blog, although I've went back and made every post private that I had written previously (after reading all said posts and becoming extremely embarrassed by my own absurdity). I'll slowly go back and re-publish a few that are appropriate. I have although, decided to begin writing for a few simple reasons. Of which I will outline below! 





1.) Memory

Beep Boop! If only this was how
organic data input worked. *sigh*

Memories tucked away in the farthest reaches of my organic hard drive aren't often accessed and begin losing accuracy as they exist uninhabited by the medium of speech through which they survive. I believe words act and survive as living organisms, with parasitic and symbiotic relationships with their hosts, attaching themselves to their intended target and surviving by multiplying the number of infected.
There are many different species of words, with varying lifespans and treatment options. Some species are chronic parasites and inevitably terminate their host, their projected lifespan is usually infinite and they are extremely contagious, there is only one treatment option for such words, intentional forgiveness. The body's natural defense against these organisms is to attempt to infect as many hosts as possible in an attempt to rid themselves of the original infection, this method is entirely useless and only destructive.
Others are have symbiotic relationships with their hosts, they spread in a similar fashion yet are seldom as effective. In the presence of their parasitic counterparts, they're often destroyed by the more aggressive species. There are many treatment options for this species as they are easy to destroy. The most effective strategy seems to be apathy, without being spread continually, the original infection becomes doormat.
This blog is my petri dish, where I can artificially host many species of words and destroy the destructive species' as my master sees fit.


2.) Record

Me, 13 stories above Shanghai, China.

I shall be traveling soon! I am no stranger to international travel, I have visited several foreign countries but have never stayed for the amount of time I will be when I travel to Hong Kong this summer. I am attending YWAM Harbour City beginning July 30th for their FEET program and possibly staying for a China focused DTS and other programs and outreaches. These however are only short term plans, stretching no further than a year. However, it has always been my heart to pursue long-term missions. Reaching all people with the gospel of the Christ as I am commanded (Matt 28:16-20) and I find this form of communication most helpful. As in the future my loved ones will be able to be an active part of my life and I an active part of theirs, while also allowing sponsors and/or prayer warriors to be able to know what God is doing through me and them as an extension.

Just some of Bingle's awesome
staff from 2013!

Within the next few months I am also beginning another summer at Bingle Camp which is an amazing opportunity for ministry among the youth and children of this community. Not really related to this post but still worth mention as I am so totally pumped that I get to hang out with all these cool people! 

3.) Passion
I wish I could say I was passionate about writing I'm glad I'm not passionate about writing, but there aren't that many things which I view important enough to be worth being passionate.

Here is an abbreviated list in order of descending importance:

- The Gospel of Jesus

- Loving People

- My Friends and Family

- My Personal Safety

Passion is defined by what you are willing to suffer for. I've put some long thought into the list above and truly asked myself what I am willing to suffer for. When it comes down to the line with a gun to my head or a fist to my body, these are the things I am willing to suffer for.

That being said, I am not passionate about writing, but I do enjoy it and would like to get into the habit of doing it more often. I express myself through many forms of writing and glorify God through all of it.



Until next time my friends,
Joel Gibson

"There are two currencies, time and money, and money is just time spent." - This goldmine of a sentence I heard come from an elderly gentleman at Barnes and Noble today.

Back in the business!

Sometimes I wish I had like, an infinite amount of time on this Earth, there are so many things that I want to do with so many people!

...

No! Not like that! Get your mind out of the gutter!

But seriously, I really want to participate in life. I guess this is how humans should feel, which, probably says more about the way I've been feeling lately than I probably wanted to say. It's true though, I haven't felt human in  awhile. (Stop looking at the kitten, I know, it's cute, but stop looking at it, your making it scared) Sadly, I haven't felt machine either, my productivity was at an all time low for a long time. Infact, I would even go to say a full year, atleast since last November (NaNoWriMo) Today was a success! I felt like when I went to go get something done, it got done! Even if it was just feeding animals, or going for a 2.6 mile run. Today really inspired me to get the most I can out of life. Today inspired me to do something great all day.

I'm talking to someone via IM and I think that, even though I was just feeling all great and inspired while typing about my day above, she said something that totally changed my mood. She said:

• You're making me look like an idiot, cause I keep laughing, and the people in here keep looking at me
• Well, it's only two people...
• but, still

And I kinda just stopped for a second. I was feeling all great about myself, feeling alive again, and it was perfect timing. I could have won a million dollars today and those three lines of IM would have still been the best thing that happened to me today. I think I understand now what the meaning to life really is. It's about us. Humans.

You know, I just realized I'm probably going to look back on this day for a long time. Because, if I can just make people smile in my life. Make them feel for a moment like the world isn't falling down around them. I'll know in my heart that I have the most fulfilling life that anyone has.

So I just want everyone to know...

When you laugh, I smile.

So smile, and I'll laugh at your crazy random smile!

Good turtle talk, spoon heil.

Day 5: Things are back to good.

What happened? In my last post I was feeling very depressed that I couldn't even tell the story that I wore my sisters jeans, (Don't tell her!). Today though, was different.

I got up early, I fed and watered the animals, and I enjoyed the view. I now wish that I had taken pictures, there was frost that seemed to be covering the world. Everything was simply beautiful, even the cows, of whom I normally detest looked stunning with their jet black fur against the white world. Now I wish even more that I had taken a picture, just that cow standing there, with the caption: "Dare to be Different" would have spoken volumes.

My mother's racist tea

After I had enjoyed the view quite throughly,I heated some water, and took a bath. Which, I will say I was not happy about, although I kept my smile.
I finished off my morning by making some tea and waking my mother. I did, however take a picture of the tea my mother was drinking, which spoke similar stories as the picture of the cow would have. If you don't get it, watch this video.

Speaking of such jokes, I've been watching a lot of Julian Smith's videos. I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm obsessed, but that's pretty much all I've been watching this past week. I guess that's a good thing, way to keep my optimism up!

After all this, I sat in the car for awhile while driving to Crowley. On the way though I was really thinking about how much I really enjoyed riding in the car for those ten minutes. Which kind of sent me back to day 3 of my journeys through optimism. As I stated in that blog post, my day actually started up really good. I wasn't very tired and felt generally optimistic about the entire day. I had even felt as if I had accomplished something, because, due to lack of laundry, I had to wear my sisters pants. Yet they fit perfectly, which instantly brightened my day for two reasons.

1. I now had a larger supply of pants that I could wear when without laundry
2. I was as tall as my sister.

This was a great feeling and it really made being happy easier for the rest of the day. Especially so as soon as the bus came.

The moment the doors opened, I felt the warm air rush out and warm my face. Then, slowly, as I stepped onto the bus a chorus of greetings met me. It was if everyone could tell how happy I was and it was already spreading. Although, I knew it was just because the elementary kids had just learned my name.

As I sat down on the bus, a thought struck me. I was the only one sitting in the entire vehicle who was genuinely happy to be there, ironically, this thought depressed me, though not for long.

I was awoken from my flashback of sorts to remember how good it was to just be in a car. Soon enough, we were at our destination. The house of Santino, we then, after hoisting Santino into our charade, left back to the house. Where we filmed and rehearsed for several hours. After which, I rode horses, and I even got to jump them a little bit.

Which is how I spent my entire day!

So, I guess, since I didn't post anything really for the past two days, I should explain how these in-described   days progressed.

The third day of optimism went swimmingly. I was completely ready for my new speech, which I am to give on Monday the 1st.

In fact, although I really didn't do much. It was just the greatest day I've had in a long while. Trying to be happy actually works.

The fourth day, I received some great news. On the same day I am going to give my amazing speech, Monday the 1st, my sister Jasmine is also going to be flying into Denver! Aside from that, I had only accomplished one thing. I had rendered an amazing poster of my new upcoming film project. This had taken the entire day. And I only had left my room a few times to re-stock on food products, chlorine gas, caffeine and such. I wish I could show you it, but alas, since I cannot. I should at least post one rendered frame of it to end this post.

Good turtle talk, Joel goes spoon.